We didn’t go to my mother’s on Sunday’s we went to my Uncle C and Aunt P’s house, (the same uncle who found it necessary to provide my mother with 3 more children after my father’s death). There were other uncles who came to the house on Sundays, they drank and were loud and scary and smelly. I didn’t like the way they touched me or the fact that they wanted to kiss me on the lips all the time. My Aunt P was not happy about us being there either (looking back I don’t blame her). She had been betrayed. I couldn’t wait to leave and get back to the Center. When it was time to leave all the girls rushed to the car to be the ones who got to sit in the front seat. I learned that day that from then on I too would run to get that front seat because I never wanted to sit in the back seat of that car ever again. Sundays became dreadful. I hated going on visitations. I tried to tell people but no one would listen to me. In fact, the caseworker told us that we were going to start to get “extended” visitations with my mother. That meant we would be staying the whole weekend. I thought I was going to die. By now I was about 7 1/2 years old.
On the first weekend we stayed at my mother’s house there were not enough beds for everyone to have their own and so we had to share, I didn’t like it. My grandmother (my mother’s mother) didn’t like me and I didn’t like her. Her house was filled with cats and nothing was clean, not at my grandmother’s nor mother’s house. Everything was filthy and there were roaches everywhere. They were in the walls! I was so frightened, it is one of the first times I remember praying. On the way back to the Center, I got stuck in the back seat, I cried all the way.
I would like to say that as I share this episode in my life I am reminded how God has led. Even though this experience happened I have learned that God does not leave us in the difficult situations of our lives. I know that He was with me through every experience and that it is by His grace and mercy that I have a relationship with Jesus, despite the enemy’s attempts to prevent it. God bless.