Perfect tiny fingers and toes, round pudgy face, she was beautiful. As I walked from the nursery window I thought to myself, “She’s mine”. For the first time in my life something really belonged to me. When I got back to my room I excitedly called Jane and told her I wanted to keep the baby. I can’t remember what we said to one another but I know it wasn’t long after our conversation ended that the phone rang and it was Robert. Remember I told you he didn’t speak much but when he did you listened. “How are you doing kid?” was how he opened our conversation. We talked a little and then He asked me to take a sheet of paper and write on one side all the things I could do for my little girl without anyone’s help and then to turn the sheet of paper over and write down all the things I would need help with. Well, you can imagine that one side of the paper was blank except for the word LOVE. I could love her with all my heart but that was all I could do for her.
Later on that day, I had a visit from a good friend of Jane’s, named Connie. I had met Connie one other time before. She was quiet but outgoing. No one would have expected that she would have had the experience she shared with me that day. She had been raped and had conceived. Because she was of the Catholic faith she felt that having an abortion was not an option. She carried the baby to full term and then gave it up for adoption. She shared with me how in her mind, the only positive thing that could come out of her experience was that God could use her situation to answer the prayer of another women, who wanted to be a mother. We talked a little longer and then we said goodbye. I lay in bed for a long time staring out of the window. I so wanted this little baby to have the best life possible. I dreamed about what it would be like to have a normal life, to have a mommy and a daddy. I wanted her to have ballet classes, sleepovers, and little girl tea parties. I desired for her to be loved in a way I had never known. The next day when Jane, the caseworker, and I think someone from the hospital came into my room, I signed the papers. Everyone left but Jane she held me in her arms as I cried, reassuring me over and over again that I had done the right thing. I knew deep in my heart it was the right thing. Giving her a chance at life was the greatest way I could show my love for her. Jane had a surprise of her own to share with me; she was expecting another baby. Wow! The baby was due in September my heavy heart was gladdened. Jane also told me that she and Robert had talked, and if I wanted, I could stay with them and not go back to the Center. What a relief! I had wondered what was going to happen to me after this ordeal was over; the invitation to stay was an answer to my own prayer.
Little Donny was born in early September; I remember racing home from school to see him. I held him in my arms he was so precious. He brought such joy and comfort to my aching heart.
As I have sorted through the many experiences of my life, this one principle has proven to be a solid truth. God works out the best outcome, regardless of the situation. Even if the consequences don’t seem favorable at the time, in hindsight the outcome will reveal itself to have been what was in your best interest. “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 Give God a chance; trust in Him, He will never let you down. Blessings.